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Wednesday
Dec292010

Know ThySelf!

This is a semi-follow up to Participation Culture is Creating a Bunch of Candy Asses rant.

I don't know if the actual number of jerkoffs increased or it's that the population increased therefore if there's a great number of people and if the percentage of jerkoffs is the same then there may seem to be more?  Or as I like to think, the population and the actual percentage of jerkoffs actually increased.  Then again, are they just more visible now because of YouTube, FaceBook, etc.?  If I were a  statistician, and I was studying for my masters, this would be the basis of my thesis.  Then again, who would admit to being a jerkoff or a douche?  That'll be a story or in my case, a blog post for another day, to put it simply, just do the Jeff Foxworthy formula, "You know you're a redneck, if..." just replace the "redneck" with douche...But I digress.

Back in the days, we were forced to go outside and play at the park, whether it was a game of "over the line", "smear the queer", "tag", "football", "basketball", etc.  We also had to learn how to fight regardless of the neighborhood you lived in.  This was an invaluable lesson.  Now I'm not a proponent for fighting, but I believe every boy should get in a handful of fights in his lifetime, preferably before he's in junior high school.  What does fighting and sports teach?  It teaches you limits.  It subconsciously gives you a certain understanding of life that is so lacking today.  It teaches you, you're not the toughest guy in the world, it teaches you, you're not the most interesting guy in the world, it especially teaches you what you can and can't do.  Plus back in our days, our parents were more realistic, instead of feeding us the crap, that we're the greatest, we can become anything we want.  They checked our ego.  I said I want to be a pro ball player.  Our parents would say, when you make the varsity baseball team at your school, then talk that crap.  When I made the varsity squad, then it was, when major league scouts come to see you, then talk that crap.  Nowadays I see parents telling their kids that doesn't have an iota of athletic ability they can become a pro athlete if they want to.  Parents, you're supposed to be their parents not their cheerleaders, that's what friends are for.  Be a parent to your not living in reality, narcissistic, dense, no sense having kids.  Because when you don't, they think they can step to me and kick my ass.  The last time I checked, boxing, wrestling, MMA fights, all have a weight class, hell, even amateur bodybuilding has weight classes.

Know thyself, know yourself, was attributed to a couple of philosophers, some Greek dude named Pausanias and Sun Tzu I'm sick of the Euro-centric view that they created everything, so I had to give credit to the Asian brotha!  This is probably the best and simplest advice over the millennia.  Yet it is the hardest advice to follow.  If you know yourself, you wouldn't fall prey to addiction, and other self destructive behaviors.  I suggest you read my BS Diagnosis made by the psych industry rant.

I know many of you are saying, Joon, just let them be!  Leave them alone.  Live and let live, yadda yadda.  I don't care what people do and I do leave people alone and stay quiet unless it affects me, my space and my life.  How do these delusional people affect me, my space and my life, you ask?  Very simple, let's look at the wanna be western Asian folks, they try so hard to show white folks we're the same, they look like jackasses doing it and they think they're fitting in, but the white folks are laughing at you behind your back.  This affects my life, because whenever certain white folks meet me, they think I'm the same jackass as you are so they put me on your level, so it affect me and my life.  All you wanna be effeminate Asian girly men, once again, this affect me and my life, how?  People look at you and when I meet the aforementioned people, they put me on the same level as you thinking I'm the same girly man as you.  But all this is neither here nor there.  

My biggest pet peeves are, jerkoffs regardless of race, creed, ethnicity, etc. These are the people that think they're funnier than they really are cuz their mommas told them they're a comedian.  These are the people who think they're so interesting and fascinating when they aren't cuz their mommas told them so or because their mommas didn't give them enough attention and that's how they entertained themselves, I don't know.  For example, these idiots' podcast 폭탕영어 they took the most fascinating subject: LESBIANS and PUT ME TO SLEEP AFTER 5 MINUTES!  First of all, the hosts were obese people therefore they put their life issues in the interview instead of listening to her.  The woman said she had a boyfriend and they're still friends, and she said SHE MADE THE CHOICE TO BE LESBIAN!  Instead of jumping on this and following up on this, they were talking about how much jocks would sex play with other guys when they're drunk or how much they were bullied by jocks, etc.  If I was doing the interview I would have said, "OK, what kind of guy will it take for you to go back to men?", then my follow up question would be, "Can I submit my resume?"  Just because you have a laptop and a microphone doesn't make you a broadcaster, and a good one at that.  Interviewing somebody is not that easy, the good ones make it LOOK EASY.  For example, my 형 told me to do deadlifts quietly and I told him, do ONE and I'll do it his way and if he can't, to shut the hell up.  Look at the video below.

 As a result, he couldn't even do ONE.  Then he started hating on me saying no matter how strong I get in the gym, I'll never be as big as Ronnie Coleman.  He was trying to hurt my feelings?  There are pro bodybuilders despite taking steroids aren't as big as Ronnie, this is why he is a 8 time Mr. Olympia. My point being, when anybody is good at something, they make it look easy. So these idiots took a fascinating topic and made it a borefest.  And from listening to that podcast, they did no research whatsoever!  I would have watched a couple of lesbian pornos and asked her, do they do it the same way as in movies or is it like all things on the screen, what you see is not real life?  It may sound perverted and you may call me a pervert, yet this is the same question you want to ask, but are you shy or morally uptight to ask.

Don't get me wrong, I love the internet!  10 years ago, I had the present day vision of what the internet could be way back then, I saw the potential of the Yahoo Groups, Friendster (this was the Facebook of its day), I started my own record label based on this vision, it didn't work, you know what they say, if you're too fast, it's not good, and if you're too slow, it's not good.  Anyways, let's fast forward to NOW.  there's YouTube, Vimeo, blip.tv, etc. This allows anyone with a webcam or a video camera to upload their contents to the internet regardless of talent.  Being good looking or hot like Megan Fox doesn't qualify you as being interesting! 


Some of the talented or interesting contents I found on YouTube, for example, don't let the name fool you, but Fluffy Starr, I know it sounds gay but her music rocks.  One of the funnier and cuter content I discovered was Chad Vader from Blame Society Films. they have interesting contents there. so mad props to y'all. They are the reason contents site are worthwhile, whereas, for every Fluffy Starr, there are thousands of thousands of girls singing in front of webcams thinking they're the next Arnel Pineda (the current lead singer of Journey).  You people know what I'm talking about.  If a hot chick is singing and she's terrible, people write kind comments.  If the chick is ordinary or homely looking, the comments are not so kind.  Even when I go to the 노래방 (Karaoke), you have people with a couple of shots of soju or few glasses of beer in them, they think they're great singers.  I know I can't sing so I don't go to the Karaoke, and if I do go, I refuse to sing despite everybody's insistence, why?  Because I know myself.  I know what I can and can't do.  These are the same people that ask me to play catch with them.  They can't throw a damn baseball!  By the time the ball gets to me I became a grandfather.  But I digress.  Why didn't someone be a true friend or a parent and tell them they can't sing?  Because they don't want to hurt their feelings?  

Another example of not knowing yourself or reality...I see guys in the gym doing endless sets of bench presses, should presses, barbell curls and skull crushers.  I admit, I'm not hatin', they look pretty good up top and up front.  Now, what's wrong with this picture?  Still don't know?  Where's the exercises for the back and legs?  These guys when they turn around, have no back muscles and they got pencil legs.  What if they get lucky with a girl and they take off their clothes and they have a bigger upper body and pencil legs, I'd be embarrassed.  How do they go to the pool, the beach?  What do they see in the mirror?  This leads to my points of cute or pretty chicks.  Don't get me wrong they look good, but the reality of how hot they think they are and how they really look are two different levels.  Being cute and pretty is cool, but hotness is unfortunately bestowed onto the very few, such as Megan Fox, 김태희 (Kim, Tae Hee) and Angelina Jolie 5 years ago.  Once again this requires knowing yourself, honestly self assessing yourself. I know I don't look like Brad Pitt, I look more like a gorilla, so I know I can't hope to get with Megan Fox unless I'm a billionaire.  If you read my Love Advice... blog, this will save you a lot of grief.  You should realistically know your level of hotness or the lack thereof.  this will save you from being those 30 & 40 year old single women that's still looking for their "Mr. Right".  At that age, your choices are widowers, divorcees or guys if you go out with them, you would be their first girlfriend.  If you know yourself, you would fight with your parents to stop sending you to juku or 학원 because you won't enter the top universities.  If you have the potential there is no need for juku or 학원, you and your friends would be motivated and push each other to do what it takes to get admitted to a good school.  Parents outside of knowing yourself also, are you really sending your kids to 학원 or juku because you think they have the potential to go to a good school or because you have free time to go to the coffee shop and gossip, go to the hair salon and gossip, and go to the gym and gossip?  Because when I see you "so-called housewives" with maids in the gym, you do some stretching for about 5 minutes and then get on the damn cell phone and tell your husband you're at the gym and are working out, and as soon as you hang up you call your other yenta (아줌마) friends and gossip.  Do you see a pattern here?

This advice is also for the girl who was the prettiest girl in her hometown or high school or wherever she's from.  Everybody tells her how pretty or beautiful she is all her life.  So she believes she looks like Megan Fox and moves to the big city whether it'd be Seoul, Tokyo, New York, Los Angeles, Bangkok, etc. the cold hard reality that there are other girls that are just as good looking if not better looking hits you devastates your world.  Most girls in this situation turn out one of three ways, they realize the reality and get a real job, the second thing that happens is they either become porno stars, strippers, call girls, party girls or an old rich dude's arm accessory and the ones with real determination become what they wanted to become whether it's an actress, dancer, singer, etc. to you I give you my mad props.

Homosexuals:  I personally don't understand the controversy when it comes to this topic.  Maybe it's because I grew up in West Hollywood and I became tolerant or maybe being a minority growing up in the US?  Who knows.  I have a very pragmatic view of gay dudes, the first view I have is that most gay dudes are hot or good looking, so it's less competition for me.  The second view I have about gay dudes; a lot of hot chicks hang out with them, so there's always hope for shrapnel, how can you be mad at that?  What I hate are the gay people who are so obviously gay that they're in the closet.  My philosophy is that if you're in the closet you're really conflicted about what you really are, and from my personal experience, the closeted gay people who knew that I knew, always screwed me over because they were afraid I would expose them.  Perhaps it was the handful that did it to me that I believe all are like that, but then again, many white people think that all Asians are good at math based on the few Asians that they've met.  What I'm saying here is that if you're true to yourself and if this is who you really are:  DAMN SOCIETY!!!  Then again, I'm a believer of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy in civilian life, well, let's take that one step further, and create a new policy, "I don't care what you are, so don't care what I am", yeah, that would be good.  If you really think about it, I don't have to announce to people I'm a hetero, so why are gay people obliged to "come out of the closet"?

This is for the wannabe tough guys.  When you're 5' 4" and 130 pounds or even 6' 1" and 155 pounds, don't walk around like you're a tough guy, the REAL tough guys laugh at you.  You have probably never been in a fight, never took a punch to the face, never played organized sports on any level yet you walk around talking a bigger game than you can deliver or as they use to say back in the days, your ego's writing checks it can't cash.  Women, here's free advice for you, if a dude talks a good game 95% of the times, he can't walk the walk.  Most guys that are good at something will be a little more understated because he compares himself to the best so he may seem less confident but he appears that way because he's comparing himself to a higher standard instead of the guy that boasts because he compares himself guys lesser than him.  I knew a guy who would purposely hang out with people less intelligent than him so he could be the smartest guy in the room.  As in my case, most of the time I KNOW I'm the smartest guy in the room most of the time, when this happens I seek smarter friends because I can't grow this way.  So for all you wannabe tough guys, you're lucky you live in Asia because unlike the US or other European countries you would get your girly man ass kicked.  Once again I want to reiterate I'm not a proponent of violence but I do believe every guy needs his ass kicked at least once in his life, this way understanding that there's the potential of violence will keep you in check and stop you from acting the fool.

Knowing yourself will save you a lifetime of misery, embarrassment, and ridicule.  Then the question begs to be asked, how do I get to know myself?  Very easy, instead of what momma thinks we can do, honestly ask yourself what you can do well.  If it's StarCraft, Lineage II, or other video or computer games then it's time to go outside and move your body, hit the gym or if you insist on being in front of a computer, learn how to edit video on Sony Vegas or Final Cut Express or Pro.  I recommend learning how to develop an iPhone app or an Android app.  This way you have the potential to make money and chicks hot as Megan Fox will step to you instead of you chasing them.  If you really think you're a good singer/actor/entertainer, etc. go to a talent management company and audition!  It's a lot easier to do in Asia than it is in Western countries.  Remember the most talented of artists never went to juku or 학원.

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